








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 32% |
| Smokes | 501 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 446 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 160 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,726 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colonelolel | 45% | 11 |
| #2 | Doggo | 39% | 67 |
| #3 | ElEgyptian | 37% | 49 |
| #4 | SherlockGunZ | 37% | 60 |
| #5 | Sam | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ElEgyptian | 37% | 49 |
| #4 | SherlockGunZ | 37% | 60 |
| #5 | Sam | 33% | 18 |
| #6 | Deka | 33% | 18 |
| #7 | iXB7 | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SherlockGunZ | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Doggo | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | iXB7 | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Sam | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | colonelolel | 3 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggo | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | SherlockGunZ | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ElEgyptian | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Deka | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | iXB7 | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SherlockGunZ | +2.52 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | colonelolel | +2.24 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | Doggo | +0.90 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Shark | -1.36 | 56 | 47 |
| #5 | ElEgyptian | -1.45 | 51 | 58 |





