








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 23% |
| Smokes | 331 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 297 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $278,007 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Advokaten | 100% | 9 |
| #3 | Pickadollen301 | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Floppyh | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | villesoder | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Advokaten | 100% | 9 |
| #3 | Pickadollen301 | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Floppyh | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | villesoder | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Advokaten | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | villesoder | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | zazzel | 36 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #3 | Floppyh | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Pickadollen301 | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Advokaten | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazzel | +7.58 | 96 | 59 |
| #2 | WhoCares | +6.33 | 86 | 46 |
| #3 | Floppyh | +1.19 | 77 | 46 |
| #4 | Advokaten | +0.13 | 66 | 27 |
| #5 | Pickadollen301 | -0.22 | 34 | 44 |





