








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 245 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3680 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3459 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2539 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3192 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,272 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gliss | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | boom | 52% | 79 |
| #7 | Collision | 51% | 76 |
| #8 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 51% | 127 |
| #9 | 1neJay | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | LM | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Collision | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Jake | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Chico_stick | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 777 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | LM | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Collision | 268 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jake | 154 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | boom | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gliss | +1.76 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | LM | +1.67 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | turqii | +1.20 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Jake | +0.91 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | Collision | +0.84 | 69 | 61 |





