








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3894 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4476 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3430 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3635 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,012 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧dex♱h | 80% | 51 |
| #2 | Die Echte echte Lisa♥ | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | peath | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Elixir | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | Dwcollier | 51% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Elixir | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | Dwcollier | 51% | 130 |
| #6 | LpéMaa | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | THE HAT MAN | 50% | 224 |
| #8 | s4k | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE HAT MAN | 40 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Dwcollier | 24 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Elixir | 14 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | ⛧dex♱h | 12 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | s4k | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE HAT MAN | 795 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Dwcollier | 190 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | ⛧dex♱h | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Elixir | 136 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | peath | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧dex♱h | +6.56 | 98 | 67 |
| #2 | LuV_Anarchy | +1.99 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | peath | +1.60 | 85 | 50 |
| #4 | LpéMaa | +0.21 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | Dwcollier | +0.18 | 71 | 50 |





