








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4730 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7396 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5601 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5599 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,631,096 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1094 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kASTEL | 60% | 67 |
| #2 | toterbaum | 59% | 213 |
| #3 | Paddo | 57% | 133 |
| #4 | Smintzzz | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | Ludmilla Winter ุ | 53% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Anthony „Toto“ Losilla | 52% | 159 |
| #9 | Maertel | 50% | 117 |
| #10 | Sloaney | 49% | 39 |
| #11 | JaeClipse | 39% | 38 |
| #12 | Master Splinter | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kASTEL | 22 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Wide Zelenskyy | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | toterbaum | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Ludmilla Winter ุ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Paddo | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wide Zelenskyy | 1142 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | toterbaum | 959 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #3 | Anthony „Toto“ Losilla | 447 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ludmilla Winter ุ | 246 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | kASTEL | 243 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xaiden | +3.98 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | kASTEL | +0.53 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Wide Zelenskyy | +0.35 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Paddo | +0.17 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | JaeClipse | -0.31 | 71 | 53 |





