








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2999 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2773 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,147,870 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anthony „Toto“ Losilla | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | Wide Zelenskyy | 62% | 76 |
| #3 | toterbaum | 60% | 52 |
| #4 | Ludmilla Winter ุ | 54% | 112 |
| #5 | Xaiden | 50% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Splinter | 1035 | 0.31 | 28 min |
| #2 | Wide Zelenskyy | 435 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | Xaiden | 342 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | toterbaum | 292 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | Paddo | 281 | 0.08 | 7 min |





