








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3212 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4327 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2898 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3290 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,608 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kung-Fu-Lobbe | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Paddo | 63% | 84 |
| #3 | Master Splinter | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Maertel | 60% | 52 |
| #5 | Xaiden | 59% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xaiden | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Wide Zelenskyy | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ludmilla Winter ุ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Maertel | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Anthony „Toto“ Losilla | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xaiden | +4.65 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | Wide Zelenskyy | +1.39 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Paddo | +1.11 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | Master Splinter | -0.24 | 46 | 70 |
| #5 | toterbaum | -0.43 | 59 | 74 |





