










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9989 | 51% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 864 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 4741 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,814,503 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | 65% | 132 |
| #2 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 60% | 129 |
| #3 | bilbus | 58% | 89 |
| #4 | calzone | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | hEN3SY | 56% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | calzone | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | hEN3SY | 56% | 62 |
| #6 | ((void (*)())0xBFC00000)(); | 55% | 103 |
| #7 | Bekim | 55% | 53 |
| #8 | Sheriff Randy | 51% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ((void (*)())0xBFC00000)(); | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | bilbus | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | hEN3SY | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calzone | 571 | 0.34 | 13 min |
| #2 | ((void (*)())0xBFC00000)(); | 295 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 263 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bekim | 227 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | bilbus | 197 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | +4.34 | 97 | 36 |
| #2 | hEN3SY | +2.41 | 92 | 39 |
| #3 | Bekim | +2.39 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | bilbus | +2.32 | 80 | 44 |
| #5 | husky | +1.04 | 66 | 53 |





