








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1526 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 64,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20285 | 32% |
| Smokes | 15805 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 17534 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10644 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,606,429 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | 70% | 257 |
| #2 | ((void (*)())0xBFC00000)(); | 62% | 126 |
| #3 | husky | 60% | 129 |
| #4 | Mainmast | 55% | 175 |
| #5 | Sheriff Randy | 55% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | husky | 60% | 129 |
| #4 | Mainmast | 55% | 175 |
| #5 | Sheriff Randy | 55% | 186 |
| #6 | Eggi | 52% | 432 |
| #7 | (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ Bloodeagle | 49% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggi | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Lethal | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Sheriff Randy | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | husky | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Mainmast | 10 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggi | 2307 | 0.26 | 65 min |
| #2 | (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ Bloodeagle | 507 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | husky | 475 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | Mainmast | 460 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Sheriff Randy | 449 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | +4.11 | 98 | 33 |
| #2 | Eggi | +1.83 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | Mainmast | +0.94 | 56 | 69 |
| #4 | husky | +0.88 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | ((void (*)())0xBFC00000)(); | +0.83 | 85 | 65 |





