








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3677 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4775 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3742 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3907 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,033,661 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Nex (>'-')> | 51% | 55 |
| #13 | J 4 K | 44% | 48 |
| #14 | Shmilus | 42% | 26 |
| #15 | SOL1DUDE | 39% | 23 |
| #16 | NooM 🦄 | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kontrabandist | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Narvado | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | eddy | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | cyberaser | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ropsu | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kontrabandist | 673 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | cyberaser | 326 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | J 4 K | 285 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #4 | ropsu | 281 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | d4vvY | 278 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narvado | +2.76 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | texoo | +2.39 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | Kontrabandist | +1.72 | 88 | 52 |
| #4 | duud | +1.27 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | d4vvY | +0.19 | 63 | 70 |





