








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 794 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7711 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7148 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5664 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8224 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,040,916 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyberaser | 67% | 54 |
| #2 | texoo | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | TheCuke | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | Caschi | 54% | 63 |
| #5 | WhoAmI|Ramjay | 51% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Kontrabandist | 47% | 244 |
| #12 | Knuffelbär | 47% | 60 |
| #13 | CheeseBreeze | 45% | 462 |
| #14 | Nex (>'-')> | 45% | 537 |
| #15 | J 4 K | 39% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkLord | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | CheeseBreeze | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Nex (>'-')> | 9 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Kontrabandist | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | texoo | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseBreeze | 1678 | 0.17 | 42 min |
| #2 | DarkLord | 1627 | 0.19 | 44 min |
| #3 | Nex (>'-')> | 1131 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #4 | Kontrabandist | 652 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #5 | MyDexter | 623 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texoo | +3.11 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Kontrabandist | +1.93 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | ropsu | +1.57 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Caschi | +1.14 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Knuffelbär | +0.05 | 64 | 59 |





