








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4353 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2589 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4222 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3124 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,789 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atomic | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Techne | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | Y0ungB1 | 56% | 109 |
| #4 | eekum bokum | 56% | 90 |
| #5 | αмαzε™ | 54% | 355 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | αмαzε™ | 42 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Kevin Robinson | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Cheesie Bigs | 13 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Toasty | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Y0ungB1 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | αмαzε™ | 934 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kevin Robinson | 495 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Toasty | 368 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | eekum bokum | 350 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | Cheesie Bigs | 285 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atomic | +2.62 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | tub1- | +2.47 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | eekum bokum | +1.17 | 84 | 72 |
| #4 | Cheesie Bigs | +0.78 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | αмαzε™ | +0.25 | 81 | 65 |





