








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4704 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3466 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1927 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3178 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,355 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | 65% | 74 |
| #2 | eekum bokum | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | Cheesie Bigs | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | Kevin Robinson | 54% | 138 |
| #5 | Y0ungB1 | 52% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tub1- | 32 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | αмαzε™ | 29 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | 20 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Cheesie Bigs | 17 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Kevin Robinson | 13 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | αмαzε™ | 431 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Kevin Robinson | 308 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | tub1- | 295 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | 248 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cheesie Bigs | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | +2.46 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | tub1- | +1.70 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Toasty | +1.55 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | Cheesie Bigs | +1.34 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | eekum bokum | +0.95 | 82 | 64 |





