








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2608 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2682 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2553 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2570 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,556 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoom | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | FusiioN | 68% | 34 |
| #3 | EDGE | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | Cakir | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | eekum bokum | 63% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | 17 | 0.0235 |
| #2 | αмαzε™ | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Kevin Robinson | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | tub1- | 13 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Toasty | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | αмαzε™ | 370 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Toasty | 301 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | tub1- | 270 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kevin Robinson | 258 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | eekum bokum | 209 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDGE | +1.90 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | +1.72 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | Dethyus | +1.61 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | Cakir | +1.59 | 91 | 57 |
| #5 | eekum bokum | +1.50 | 83 | 66 |





