








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 600 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7899 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4456 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6598 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6442 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,128,192 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | 62% | 105 |
| #2 | Techne | 57% | 74 |
| #3 | eekum bokum | 56% | 140 |
| #4 | tub1- | 54% | 355 |
| #5 | Cheesie Bigs | 53% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tub1- | 76 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Kevin Robinson | 37 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | 31 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | Cheesie Bigs | 28 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Toasty | 15 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin Robinson | 1126 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | tub1- | 1125 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #3 | Toasty | 790 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #4 | eekum bokum | 508 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | Y0ungB1 | 473 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tub1- | +2.34 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | FIU Blue Coach (CaptainNoct) | +1.92 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Cheesie Bigs | +1.70 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | αмαzε™ | +1.21 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | eekum bokum | +0.99 | 83 | 70 |





