








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2300 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1298 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2853 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1506 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,232 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 46% | 161 |
| #2 | CashJagger | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 43% | 188 |
| #4 | RalfAufMontage | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Looping Louie | 39% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 46% | 161 |
| #2 | CashJagger | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 43% | 188 |
| #4 | RalfAufMontage | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Looping Louie | 39% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Predator 捕食者 | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | RalfAufMontage | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Looping Louie | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Fachlagerist | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | CashJagger | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 741 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | Predator 捕食者 | 611 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Looping Louie | 318 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | RalfAufMontage | 251 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | CashJagger | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | +2.46 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | FlQ | +0.87 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | CashJagger | +0.66 | 58 | 53 |
| #4 | RalfAufMontage | -0.45 | 44 | 54 |
| #5 | Predator 捕食者 | -1.09 | 51 | 68 |





