








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 939 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5751 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4753 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4157 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4594 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,575,464 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashJagger | 48% | 223 |
| #2 | Fachlagerist | 43% | 357 |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 42% | 195 |
| #4 | RalfAufMontage | 39% | 280 |
| #5 | FlQ | 39% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashJagger | 48% | 223 |
| #2 | Fachlagerist | 43% | 357 |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 42% | 195 |
| #4 | RalfAufMontage | 39% | 280 |
| #5 | FlQ | 39% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlQ | 65 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | Fachlagerist | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | RalfAufMontage | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | CashJagger | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Predator 捕食者 | 8 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 1709 | 0.24 | 44 min |
| #2 | RalfAufMontage | 828 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 689 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | FlQ | 661 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | CashJagger | 468 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | +3.68 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | FlQ | +1.81 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | CashJagger | +1.05 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | Predator 捕食者 | +0.03 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | RalfAufMontage | -0.16 | 41 | 56 |





