








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3120 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2999 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 860 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 3951 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,303 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RalfAufMontage | 49% | 154 |
| #2 | Looping Louie | 48% | 223 |
| #3 | Fachlagerist | 47% | 272 |
| #4 | FlQ | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Predator 捕食者 | 43% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RalfAufMontage | 49% | 154 |
| #2 | Looping Louie | 48% | 223 |
| #3 | Fachlagerist | 47% | 272 |
| #4 | FlQ | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Predator 捕食者 | 43% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | FlQ | 12 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | RalfAufMontage | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Looping Louie | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Predator 捕食者 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 1240 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #2 | Predator 捕食者 | 540 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | RalfAufMontage | 531 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | Looping Louie | 467 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | FlQ | 152 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | +3.52 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | FlQ | +2.49 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | CashJagger | +0.98 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | Predator 捕食者 | +0.24 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | RalfAufMontage | -1.54 | 31 | 59 |





