








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3910 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2648 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2267 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2510 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,010 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashJagger | 49% | 154 |
| #2 | Fachlagerist | 44% | 205 |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 42% | 121 |
| #4 | FlQ | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Looping Louie | 39% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CashJagger | 49% | 154 |
| #2 | Fachlagerist | 44% | 205 |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 42% | 121 |
| #4 | FlQ | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Looping Louie | 39% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlQ | 40 | 0.0262 |
| #2 | Looping Louie | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Fachlagerist | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | CashJagger | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Predator 捕食者 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | 966 | 0.23 | 24 min |
| #2 | Looping Louie | 682 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Predator 捕食者 | 413 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | FlQ | 360 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | CashJagger | 351 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fachlagerist | +3.21 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | FlQ | +1.29 | 64 | 47 |
| #3 | CashJagger | +1.07 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | Predator 捕食者 | +0.05 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | RalfAufMontage | -0.73 | 40 | 57 |





