








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1661 | 28% |
| Smokes | 691 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2257 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1265 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,765,197 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ignas | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | PhxR | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | ุ | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Freaky bob | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | scarfz | 43% | 133 |
| #10 | Anti-semitic Cat Von | 42% | 92 |
| #11 | Achi | 37% | 81 |
| #12 | scuffyG | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfz | 26 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Salieras | 23 | 0.0229 |
| #3 | Anti-semitic Cat Von | 17 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | salieras | 12 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | scuffyG | 11 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 291 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | scarfz | 271 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Achi | 234 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | salieras | 178 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | scuffyG | 161 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | +3.58 | 89 | 49 |
| #2 | Salieras | +3.40 | 92 | 56 |
| #3 | salieras | +1.65 | 94 | 50 |
| #4 | scarfz | +1.23 | 88 | 46 |
| #5 | Freaky bob | +0.51 | 79 | 56 |





