








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1626 | 45% |
| Smokes | 945 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,501 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jeff | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | 52% | 56 |
| #6 | Dying Dutchman | 51% | 95 |
| #7 | buchlunge0rf | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | M1Gs1 | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Dying Dutchman | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | buchlunge0rf | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Jeff | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | FlasHii | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dying Dutchman | 193 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | 151 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Reboot | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | M1Gs1 | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | buchlunge0rf | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlasHii | +6.79 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | +2.02 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | Hirschhag | +1.60 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | Dying Dutchman | +1.22 | 82 | 46 |
| #5 | M1Gs1 | -0.53 | 44 | 60 |





