








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4465 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4602 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4219 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3809 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,333,503 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | M1Gs1 | 52% | 176 |
| #9 | FlasHii | 47% | 175 |
| #10 | Khronos | 43% | 53 |
| #11 | Jeff | 41% | 107 |
| #12 | Wattumartti | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dying Dutchman | 19 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | FlasHii | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Jeff | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | buchlunge0rf | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dying Dutchman | 604 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | 532 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | M1Gs1 | 495 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | FlasHii | 277 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Hirschhag | 240 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlasHii | +6.05 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | Uncle Ben Rice Prison Man | +1.92 | 75 | 53 |
| #3 | Dying Dutchman | +1.71 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | kook2 | +1.12 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | Hirschhag | +0.52 | 73 | 46 |





