








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1426 | 32% |
| Smokes | 708 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 910 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,088 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Sou1 EateR | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | F!nny | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | FLiPMOD3 | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | Apollo | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avro | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | off da geek bar | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | FLiPMOD3 | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Craken | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | LEVIATHAN | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLiPMOD3 | 409 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Apollo | 350 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sou1 EateR | 295 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #4 | Craken | 182 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Avro | 165 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | +3.87 | 84 | 81 |
| #2 | Avro | +2.92 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | Sou1 EateR | +2.66 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | FLiPMOD3 | +1.84 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | Apollo | +1.56 | 77 | 68 |





