








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 63% |
| Smokes | 296 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 211 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,900 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <3 chlo | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | The Dirty Bubble | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Finkus Woobledoot | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | mathew co. | 50% | 183 |
| #5 | blake.johnson fan | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathew co. | 36 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | The Dirty Bubble | 24 | 0.0374 |
| #3 | Lexi | 17 | 0.0239 |
| #4 | dizzy | 14 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | Mr Dr Baljeet | 14 | 0.0332 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathew co. | 335 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | <3 chlo | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | grocery | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr Dr Baljeet | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Dirty Bubble | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydra | +4.22 | 77 | 24 |
| #2 | mathew co. | +4.09 | 46 | 20 |
| #3 | <3 chlo | +2.99 | 50 | 33 |
| #4 | sneek | +2.70 | 70 | 18 |
| #5 | The Dirty Bubble | +2.02 | 25 | 24 |





