










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 515 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




179 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3768 | 55% |
| Smokes | 527 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1589 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 952 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,059,955 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydra | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | dizzy | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | nuke sharp | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | grocery | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Lexi | 45% | 591 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexi | 203 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | nuke sharp | 45 | 0.0263 |
| #3 | dizzy | 14 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Chaotic | 14 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | grocery | 10 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexi | 604 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #2 | nuke sharp | 118 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | grocery | 112 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | hydra | 40 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | dizzy | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydra | +2.05 | 61 | 31 |
| #2 | sneek | +1.63 | 75 | 30 |
| #3 | nuke sharp | +0.63 | 16 | 29 |
| #4 | Lexi | +0.46 | 12 | 24 |
| #5 | dizzy | -0.12 | 36 | 12 |





