








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 212 | 33% |
| Smokes | 76 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 151 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 194 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,383 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1823 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | nuke sharp | 36% | 25 |
| #7 | mathew co. | 35% | 40 |
| #8 | hydra | 35% | 40 |
| #9 | grocery | 35% | 26 |
| #10 | jo | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexi | 23 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 18 | 0.0220 |
| #3 | sneek | 16 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | grocery | 15 | 0.0282 |
| #5 | mathew co. | 11 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | april | 95 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lexi | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | grocery | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | sneek | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | nuke sharp | 57 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jo | +5.95 | 75 | 43 |
| #2 | sneek | +2.61 | 67 | 26 |
| #3 | mathew co. | +2.19 | 21 | 22 |
| #4 | hydra | +1.27 | 69 | 26 |
| #5 | april | +1.19 | 40 | 39 |





