








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 533 | 20% |
| Smokes | 639 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 763 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,945 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | mathew co. | 56% | 98 |
| #3 | Hazel:3 | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Kirangi 🎸 | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | mathew co. | 56% | 98 |
| #3 | Hazel:3 | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Kirangi 🎸 | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | mathew co. | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathew co. | 259 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kirangi 🎸 | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Hazel:3 | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathew co. | +3.81 | 63 | 37 |
| #2 | <3 chlo | +2.54 | 50 | 37 |
| #3 | Hazel:3 | +2.01 | 66 | 19 |
| #4 | Kirangi 🎸 | -0.51 | 67 | 28 |
| #5 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | -3.49 | 42 | 14 |





