








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 16% |
| Smokes | 328 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 557 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 357 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,837 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blake.johnson fan | 78 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Finkus Woobledoot | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Creature | 15 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | #feed.mee crab | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creature | +2.41 | 53 | 32 |
| #2 | The Dirty Bubble | +2.39 | 32 | 26 |
| #3 | Mr Dr Baljeet | +0.31 | 22 | 9 |
| #4 | Jimmy Jugglenuts | -0.07 | 12 | 16 |
| #5 | blake.johnson fan | -0.08 | 39 | 19 |





