








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1556 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1318 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1062 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1124 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,413 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dukran | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | Pate #29 | 53% | 40 |
| #8 | lehmustus | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | #zauza# | 50% | 16 |
| #10 | Jusp3 | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jusp3 | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | #zauza# | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Pate #29 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Purke | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | pigis | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dukran | 120 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #2 | Pate #29 | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | #zauza# | 79 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jusp3 | 77 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | lehmustus | 59 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KK -Trading- | +3.83 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Jope | +3.03 | 74 | 77 |
| #3 | Etzka | +1.67 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Pate #29 | +1.45 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | Dukran | +0.94 | 59 | 55 |





