








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 537 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1351 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1120 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1112 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,140 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMAR | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Jope | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | wsipek | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Jusp3 | 52% | 95 |
| #5 | Pate #29 | 51% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #zauza# | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | pigis | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Jusp3 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jope | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | wsipek | 3 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pigis | 487 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #2 | #zauza# | 350 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Pate #29 | 250 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jusp3 | 224 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dukran | 175 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jope | +3.05 | 77 | 82 |
| #2 | Pate #29 | +2.66 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | JMAR | +1.97 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | wsipek | +1.84 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | lehmustus | +1.84 | 48 | 73 |





