








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 784 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3309 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2602 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2502 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,713 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rand | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Jope | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Pate #29 | 54% | 109 |
| #4 | Dukran | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Jusp3 | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dukran | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Jusp3 | 50% | 119 |
| #6 | lehmustus | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | Purke | 46% | 83 |
| #8 | #zauza# | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jusp3 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Pate #29 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Dukran | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | #zauza# | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Purke | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dukran | 599 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pate #29 | 320 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jusp3 | 301 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | #zauza# | 200 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | lehmustus | 139 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rand | +1.73 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Pate #29 | +1.70 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Dukran | +1.66 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Jope | +0.98 | 73 | 77 |
| #5 | lehmustus | +0.82 | 46 | 74 |





