








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4735 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6923 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4621 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5788 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,270 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 903 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoja | 54% | 59 |
| #2 | kemistry | 52% | 94 |
| #3 | fl1ppermouz | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | Plons | 49% | 125 |
| #5 | алина | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stcdv | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | fl1ppermouz | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | BobbyK | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | 猟犬 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | tel | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobbyK | 288 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | 猟犬 | 213 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | kemistry | 142 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | stcdv | 130 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Plons | 97 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kemistry | +4.07 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Stoja | +1.52 | 35 | 57 |
| #3 | 猟犬 | +0.71 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | stcdv | +0.60 | 45 | 39 |
| #5 | Maverick | +0.07 | 33 | 67 |





