








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 26% |
| Smokes | 489 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 863 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 468 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,086 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hj0rt03- | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Kurt tager urt | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Ceptt | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | v0rtex- | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ceptt | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | v0rtex- | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | Bang | 47% | 34 |
| #7 | Peter Madsen | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Madsen | 13 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Ceptt | 11 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Bang | 11 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | v0rtex- | 10 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 4 | 0.0339 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Madsen | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bang | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | v0rtex- | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ceptt | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hj0rt03- | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bang | +1.70 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | Peter Madsen | +1.42 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | v0rtex- | +1.09 | 72 | 40 |
| #4 | pULASKI- | +0.99 | 83 | 59 |
| #5 | Kurt tager urt | +0.74 | 68 | 68 |





