








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1899 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1381 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1032 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1444 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,581 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Sailor Mercury | 43% | 138 |
| #3 | s³secret | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | slip | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | Troppie | 41% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | chris | 39% | 69 |
| #8 | Gu0 | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | hero | 36% | 25 |
| #10 | Salix | 33% | 18 |
| #11 | Jit | 32% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troppie | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Jit | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Sailor Mercury | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | chris | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | slip | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troppie | 601 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Sailor Mercury | 247 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jit | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | slip | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | chris | 102 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sailor Mercury | +4.44 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Gu3 | +3.86 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | Gu0 | +2.77 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | s³secret | +2.06 | 84 | 50 |
| #5 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | +1.60 | 45 | 52 |





