








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 829 | 23% |
| Smokes | 930 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 993 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 859 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,093,085 of utility $344 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s³secret | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Sailor Mercury | 36% | 81 |
| #3 | Troppie | 35% | 94 |
| #4 | chris | 33% | 46 |
| #5 | grumpyberito5 | 32% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | chris | 33% | 46 |
| #5 | grumpyberito5 | 32% | 145 |
| #6 | slip | 25% | 28 |
| #7 | hero | 24% | 17 |
| #8 | Gu3 | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troppie | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | grumpyberito5 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Sailor Mercury | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | chris | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | slip | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troppie | 435 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | grumpyberito5 | 350 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sailor Mercury | 139 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | chris | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | slip | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gu3 | +4.68 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Sailor Mercury | +3.78 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | s³secret | +2.80 | 84 | 45 |
| #4 | Troppie | +1.32 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | slip | +0.90 | 62 | 63 |





