








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1129 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1146 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 955 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,496 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gu3 | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Sailor Mercury | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | s³secret | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Stroppie | 48% | 97 |
| #5 | goblin goblin (goblin goblin) | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stroppie | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | grumpyberito5 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | goblin goblin (goblin goblin) | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | chris | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sailor Mercury | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stroppie | 257 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | grumpyberito5 | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sailor Mercury | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | goblin goblin (goblin goblin) | 87 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | s³secret | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sailor Mercury | +4.45 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | Gu3 | +3.47 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Gu3 | +2.48 | 77 | 42 |
| #4 | s³secret | +2.21 | 85 | 52 |
| #5 | Stroppie | +0.41 | 54 | 60 |





