








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 28% |
| Smokes | 317 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 317 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 389 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,155 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salix | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | mgli | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Troppie | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Gu3 | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Troppie | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Jit | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sailor Mercury | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | hero | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grumpyberito5 | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Troppie | 121 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jit | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | slip | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sailor Mercury | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sailor Mercury | +4.91 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | Gu3 | +1.57 | 82 | 50 |
| #3 | Salix | +1.56 | 46 | 70 |
| #4 | mgli | +1.52 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Troppie | +1.49 | 61 | 65 |





