








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 588 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4316 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5851 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5635 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5911 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,234 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConTriiD | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | aerowalk | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | mgli | 47% | 223 |
| #4 | Salix | 47% | 118 |
| #5 | Tanner | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tanner | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | Skeith | 45% | 192 |
| #7 | rowdy | 45% | 166 |
| #8 | SnowT | 43% | 72 |
| #9 | Eddy | 39% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rowdy | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Skeith | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | mgli | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Eddy | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Salix | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeith | 869 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | mgli | 858 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | rowdy | 601 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | ConTriiD | 261 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #5 | Salix | 255 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeith | +2.01 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | Gu3 | +1.01 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | Tanner | +0.75 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | SnowT | -0.18 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | rowdy | -0.37 | 74 | 70 |





