








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3211 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2402 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1744 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1752 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,437 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometimes Spray? | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | PP-Bizon | 63% | 121 |
| #3 | The Boulder | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | UncannyPlayer12 | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | Rockin' & Rollin' | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rockin' & Rollin' | 55% | 49 |
| #6 | Kharma | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | JediJoe2001 | 49% | 35 |
| #9 | Zuko | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Boulder | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Rockin' & Rollin' | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Zuko | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | JediJoe2001 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PP-Bizon | 103 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 86 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rockin' & Rollin' | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zuko | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Boulder | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyro | +4.13 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | The Boulder | +2.10 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | Rockin' & Rollin' | +0.82 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | PP-Bizon | -0.03 | 57 | 37 |
| #5 | Sometimes Spray? | -1.74 | 78 | 48 |





