








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 13% |
| Smokes | 225 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1265 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,764 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Iroh | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | PP-Bizon | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Dreg | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Lau Gan-Lan | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | UncannyPlayer12 | 51% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyro | 186 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dreg | 161 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 152 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | UncannyPlayer12 | 149 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lau Gan-Lan | 89 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreg | +7.19 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Spyro | +5.26 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Lau Gan-Lan | +4.99 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | Uncle Iroh | +4.59 | 61 | 44 |
| #5 | PP-Bizon | +1.93 | 67 | 36 |





