








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 328 | 21% |
| Smokes | 415 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,084 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sometimes Spray? | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Zuko | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Spyro | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | PP-Bizon | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | JediJoe2001 | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | UncannyPlayer12 | 56% | 27 |
| #7 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | Kharma | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | Tak | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | Lau Gan-Lan | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyro | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Lau Gan-Lan | 2 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Zuko | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyro | 314 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | PP-Bizon | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zuko | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lau Gan-Lan | 17 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spyro | +3.80 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | The Boulder | +2.97 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | Zuko | +1.15 | 55 | 52 |
| #4 | Lau Gan-Lan | +0.70 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | PP-Bizon | +0.42 | 59 | 29 |





