








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 665 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10111 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8390 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8299 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5728 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,901,084 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kry | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | babidi | 50% | 333 |
| #3 | Nils H | 50% | 599 |
| #4 | J1mple | 49% | 111 |
| #5 | Mordock | 46% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kry | +2.10 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | babidi | +0.77 | 50 | 74 |
| #3 | Nils H | -0.23 | 51 | 74 |
| #4 | fyre | -0.30 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | Bob der Baumeister | -0.40 | 66 | 71 |





