








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 710 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3630 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3751 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4848 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5907 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,230,653 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 68% | 75 |
| #2 | omoo | 68% | 118 |
| #3 | 5'5 270 | 66% | 67 |
| #4 | onter | 63% | 260 |
| #5 | runchie | 63% | 396 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | AsianAssist | 62% | 281 |
| #8 | ԼøςТ doggo님 | 61% | 356 |
| #9 | HKZZ | 57% | 225 |
| #10 | Billias | 56% | 140 |
| #11 | Virifucx | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ԼøςТ doggo님 | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | runchie | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | onter | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | AsianAssist | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Larry5k | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ԼøςТ doggo님 | 1305 | 0.23 | 37 min |
| #2 | AsianAssist | 876 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #3 | runchie | 745 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | onter | 717 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #5 | HKZZ | 513 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | runchie | +3.11 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | onter | +1.64 | 88 | 77 |
| #3 | Larry5k | +1.27 | 80 | 76 |
| #4 | omoo | +1.04 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | Catlin | +0.53 | 86 | 54 |





