








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3514 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3021 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2564 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,332 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 47% | 194 |
| #12 | frsH^ | 46% | 128 |
| #13 | pwzl | 44% | 154 |
| #14 | mazeツ @LAN | 44% | 163 |
| #15 | TakTazzz | 35% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 37 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | mazeツ @LAN | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | frsH^ | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | TakTazzz | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Tazzy | 6 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 941 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | mazeツ @LAN | 443 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | frsH^ | 374 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | TakTazzz | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 181 | 0.15 | 5 min |





