








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2739 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2785 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2359 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2214 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,952 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dennis the menace | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | ★WaitWhat?! | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | HeXiT22 | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | ツMadiツ | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | frsH^ | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Spitzkopf Larry | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Osnaskater | 44% | 163 |
| #10 | TakTazzz | 43% | 61 |
| #11 | pwzl | 40% | 99 |
| #12 | bugs. | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 24 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Osnaskater | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | TakTazzz | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | frsH^ | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | HeXiT22 | 3 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 688 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Osnaskater | 281 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | frsH^ | 256 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | TakTazzz | 139 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | bugs. | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TakTazzz | +1.77 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | Dennis the menace | +1.67 | 42 | 64 |
| #3 | mazeツ @LAN | +1.38 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | ★WaitWhat?! | +1.26 | 60 | 76 |
| #5 | wudey ⭕⃤ | +0.20 | 54 | 78 |





