








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3493 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3959 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2797 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,971 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lukash1510 | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | DerAless -iwnl- | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Kronuk | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | Brain | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | mild | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | TakTazzz | 44% | 64 |
| #12 | HeXiT22 | 43% | 23 |
| #13 | pwzl | 42% | 84 |
| #14 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 39% | 130 |
| #15 | bugs. | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 28 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Osnaskater | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | mazeツ @LAN | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | ツMadiツ | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | pwzl | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wudey ⭕⃤ | 703 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #2 | mazeツ @LAN | 249 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Osnaskater | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | TakTazzz | 156 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ben Franklin Getter | 126 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brain | +2.40 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | TakTazzz | +2.28 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | lukash1510 | +2.03 | 92 | 50 |
| #4 | mazeツ @LAN | +1.45 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | mild | +1.08 | 89 | 56 |





