








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6949 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4708 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5735 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3183 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,650,779 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 757 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | pwzl | 44% | 189 |
| #10 | Harry Hodensäckle | 43% | 42 |
| #11 | bugs. | 40% | 52 |
| #12 | frsH^ | 39% | 130 |
| #13 | HeXiT22 | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osnaskater | 36 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | mazeツ @LAN | 25 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | frsH^ | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | pwzl | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | TakTazzz | 9 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mazeツ @LAN | 405 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | frsH^ | 373 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Osnaskater | 367 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Harry Hodensäckle | 227 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | TakTazzz | 184 | 0.13 | 5 min |





