








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3554 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2977 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4234 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2596 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $641,843 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konzera´s Wrld | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | mazeツ @LAN | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | Osnaskater | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | Aschi | 55% | 121 |
| #5 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 55% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 233 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Aschi | 160 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | BYK | 111 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dennis the menace | 109 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spitzkopf Larry | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aschi | +1.78 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | mazeツ @LAN | +1.42 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | TimSta | +1.24 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | ★WaitWhat?! | +1.18 | 53 | 75 |
| #5 | TakTazzz | +0.83 | 92 | 58 |





