








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 548 | 33% |
| Smokes | 298 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 332 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,889 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | [Waifus <3] | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | lil'assassin | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | peath | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Andy ^^ | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | Zyrx | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | rizzy | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | beefmyster | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil'assassin | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Andy ^^ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Zyrx | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zyrx | 43 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | lil'assassin | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Andy ^^ | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJ | +4.36 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | [Waifus <3] | +3.38 | 30 | 51 |
| #3 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | +1.98 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | +0.81 | 71 | 37 |
| #5 | Zyrx | +0.47 | 57 | 64 |





