








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3061 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3690 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2637 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,167,191 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil'assassin | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | [Waifus <3] | 51% | 169 |
| #4 | ライン川 | 51% | 118 |
| #5 | Chapadopolous | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil'assassin | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | [Waifus <3] | 51% | 169 |
| #4 | ライン川 | 51% | 118 |
| #5 | Chapadopolous | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ライン川 | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | [Waifus <3] | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Chapadopolous | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | lil'assassin | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ライン川 | 358 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | [Waifus <3] | 129 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chapadopolous | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | lil'assassin | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chapadopolous | +1.10 | 47 | 65 |
| #2 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | +0.03 | 56 | 48 |
| #3 | [Waifus <3] | -0.17 | 39 | 44 |
| #4 | ライン川 | -1.23 | 15 | 68 |
| #5 | lil'assassin | -1.59 | 52 | 39 |





